A traditional cuckold is a man who has an unfaithful wife. He learns of such but continues on with the marriage at hand. He hides his jealousy and stays within the relationship because it works. He is ashamed in many ways and is private about such. Throughout history this has been the standard in defining the name cuckold. Today there is a new term, which I call the modern cuckold.
A modern cuckold also knows about his wife’s sexual involvement with others. However, he likes it. He encourages it. He finds it helpful within the marriage. Clearly, this modern cuckold /hotwife idea is at odds with society. As human beings we have great tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. The idea of such an open marriage, assuming that both partners enjoy such, is overall still beyond most married couples’ imaginations.
Times have changed though. The role of husband and wife, man and woman has altered vastly. In days of long ago, a husband was the provider. He was a tough man taking care of his beloved wife and family. He earned the money, he gave the security, and he was labeled the man of the house. He was not expected to be over sensitive, or needy. He was the rock of the family.
The wife on the other hand was the queen of the home and marriage. She took care of her man and raised his children. The abode was her domain to cook, clean and make sure it was a sacred place for the family unit. She needed her man to protect her and keep the family safe and secure. She wore her heart on her sleeve and her man loved her just as she was.
Today, however, man and woman, husband and wife are different. The above roles in which you may like or dislike are not as they once were. The roles of a husband and wife are not defined. The man now is supposed to be all of the above, yet more sensitive now, more helpful in the duties of the household and children and overall more emotional. He is asked to pick up the slack at home, raise kids, clean, cook and do all sorts of things his wife once found to be aspects of her role as the wife and woman of the family.
On the other hand a woman now is expected to earn a living, to be successful in business and to go out in the world and be a provider. Her family relies on her earnings, her higher educational goals, and her strength. She does not have time to do all the household things that were once the staples of being a wife and mother. The roles in a marriage of a man and a woman have changed. I’m again not advocating which role style or way of life a man and woman, or husband and wife should live. Personal views have been left out of this post for the sake of others adding their own comments of the article as a whole.
Here’s where I am getting at. A man now sees his woman as more of an equal. No, I do not mean an equal as in each are of the same status or the same standing. Man and woman have always been the yin and yang of human existence, the perfect match on earth. I mean an equal as in they do the same stuff now. The roles are all over the place and are not defined. Each has to make money, cook, clean, raise kids, provide security, and be tough in the face of anything that threatens the family. The roles of a man and woman are different in 2010. The term cuckold now has a modern meaning for many couples.
Today the wife is not as home as much. The husband is not the sole provider. She works, and thus it all leads to new feelings in marriage and having a family. More and more married couples see themselves as friends today. Married couples are sleeping in separate beds and happy to be doing so. Marriage with these so-called new role identities makes such a new living style feasible.
So my point is the man does not have the old school wife at home to watch over. She is out there working. She too is a provider and doing her thing. She is no longer protected within the home safety net. This lifestyle easily lets a husband be more open to anything his wife desires. The last thing either man or woman want is any aspect of a secret affair. Friends are honest with each other if they truly are good friends. This trend in more affable marriages allows the cuckold to put great value on the relationship for sake of standard of living. He certainly does not want his wife to jeopardize things through the deceit and secrecy that normally accompanies affairs. He wants to know about and approve of any extramarital sex, and even have some control over such.
With roles more equal in what a married couple has to do week in and week out, help is always welcome in terms of lending each other a hand. Long ago roles were straightforward and easy to follow through on. Today it’s not so. A husband runs around taking the kids to school, events and sports, and whatnot. He is busy and runs all day and night. The wife is the same way, now working for the kids’ college funds, earning more money for a higher standard of living, yet still doing household stuff with any spare time she can find. With all this said, why not both except some sexual help on such a journey?
This still sounds odd. However certain aspects of a marriage tend to bring such open-minded thoughts to fruition. A modern cuckold usually has a few telltale signs that lead to such a lifestyle. Like any other way of life there are always exceptions and I’m sure anyone reading this knows some. The number one sign is most often sexual incompatibility. The wife wants more sex then the husband. There are attachments to the previous reason. One being the husband has difficulty with erections, or lasting long enough to please his wife. Another big reason is penis size when it comes to the situation where the wife wants much more sex. Husbands with a small penis tend to want their overly sexual wives to experience a larger member. I’m sure this is not the case with all. A wife that is in need of more sex or longer sex, or more wild sex often is multi-orgasmic.
Most normal men are not capable of experiencing what a woman can, especially a wife who can go all night. Many modern cuckold wives are vaginally orgasmic, meaning penetration triggers their arousal to great heights. A man living in the modern world hardly has the time, energy or prowess to satisfy such hunger. It takes a lot to admit such, but this is the modern cuckold’s nature. He welcomes any help in such regard. He enjoys seeing his wife satisfied.
There tends to be a big push for men of color to be with modern cuckold wives these days. Black men are in general superior athletes to other races. They tend to fall into the longer lasting, larger penis sized swingers. Of course not all black men fit this description, but swingers of color tend to lean in this direction and are very popular in the modern cuckold arena. I again have lived this lifestyle and can verify such.
A wife who wants more sex, that wants it to last hours long, and has a small sized husband and a large vaginal opening are prime possibles for the modern cuckold lifestyle. Though by no means are these to be the only requirements that work. There are many others.
A modern cuckold’s wife takes a different perspective on being a hotwife. Most get a sense of freedom with such a relationship. Having the option of the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband is a great feeling and a life altering experience.
The modern cuckold is open to help in all his duties. Why not take a little sexual help and let the hot wife play? Of course this shocks people. It just doesn’t seem to be the norm. It’s not, but you’d be surprised at how big this modern cuckold thing is. How do I know? I have lived it firsthand as well as wrote about such in the true new book, Our Dark Secrets, A Modern Cuckold Memoir, coming soon from Fanny Press.
Many women feel that being a hotwife turns them into a sex objects. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so. Masculine roles have been redefined as you have read above. When you do the things man once did exclusively, one tends to become more defined by such.
By no means is the stated lifestyle exact in my definition of such. No couple, man, or woman is the same in matters of sexuality. The cuckold way of living is also not for everyone. We all should respect other couples’ choices.
In closing, most wives have lived their lives trying to act like proper women. This was what was expected in the roles past generations defined for both sexes. Times have changed. Today’s cuckold is not ashamed. His wife is not the hidden woman, or forbidden fruit of past generations. He actually likes a little help with so much to do in his ever-changing role as husband and father. She would like to be satisfied sexually. He is open to the cravings of a horny wife. He, with his limitations, can’t do it all the time by himself. The last thing he wants is for her to have hidden secrets. He now can play a part in such encounters. In fact, he often likes such, encourages such, and is helpful in all matters of considering proper candidates for his beloved mate. This is what I call The Modern Cuckold.